If everyone in the paintings has enormous asses, then it’s Rubens.如果画里的每个人都有个大屁股，那奏是鲁本斯。
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If all the men look like cow-eyed curly-haired women, it’s Caravaggio.画里是大眼睛又卷毛的娘炮，那就是卡拉瓦乔
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If everybody has some sort of body malfunction, then it’s Picasso.如果画里的人都有那么些残疾部位，那就是毕加索
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If it’s something you saw on your acid trip last night, it’s Dali.画就跟你昨晚嗑药High了之后看见的东西似的，那是达利
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If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it’s Titian.画里背景都黑布隆冬的，脸上表情都跟受尽了折磨似的，必是提香。
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If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it’s Bruegel.如果画里全都是一坨一坨小人儿，除此之外其他还挺正常的话，是勃鲁盖尔。
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If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazy bullshit, it’s Bosch.如果画里有一坨一坨小人儿，但还有一坨一坨操蛋东西的话，博斯。
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If everyone – including the women – looks like Putin, then it’s van Eyck.如果每个人都长着副死气沉沉普京脸，那是凡艾克
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如果画里的每个人物都像昏暗街灯下的流浪汉，那是伦勃朗
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If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it’s Boucher.如果画里动不动就一群圆滚滚丘比特或者山羊，那是布歇
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If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it’s Michelangelo.
如果画作里有裸着的俊男美女并且人压人，那是米开朗基罗
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If you see a ballerina, it’s Degas.
画芭蕾舞娘的是德加
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If every painting is the face of a uni-browed woman, it’s Frida.画中是个有连心眉的女人，那是弗里达画的
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If everything is highly-contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone has gaunt bearded faces, it’s El Greco.如果画里的每样东西都明暗对比强烈、边缘锐利，还总透着点蓝洼洼，人物又都胡子拉碴憔悴不堪，得，是格列柯。
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Dappled light but no figures, it’s Monet.充满光斑，但没有人物 (轮廓？)，莫奈
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Dappled light and happy party-time people, it’s Renoir.光斑，外加快快乐乐的Party，雷诺阿
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Dappled light and unhappy party-time people, then it’s Manet.光斑，外加愁眉苦脸的Party，马奈
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Lord of the Rings landscapes with weird blue mist and the same wavy-haired aristocratic-nose Madonna, it’s Da Vinci.景色像《指环王》里一样壮阔，却笼罩着怪怪的蓝色迷雾；圣母玛利亚总有着同样的卷发与贵族式的鼻子。这是达芬奇
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充满填充色块的Excel表格，蒙德里安
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－END－
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